Diary of a Drama Queen Working Mom to John & Gianna

What's your super power??

2009-11-07T20:12:00.004-05:00

I title this post that because I feel like I had a super power and it was my job to play hero and hand it over.

http://www.miamiherald.com/1374/story/1311679.html

If you read the article, you will know what I did. You see this inspiring young lady goes to the school I teach at. I decided I needed to help someone to so dedicated to helping others after her own experience.

So, I went and chopped off 6.5 inches of my hair and donated it to this tenacious young lady for Locks of Love.

I feel so good. Even if I hated the hair cut, which I don't, it was still worth it.

Here's the new do with a cause!

Latest Conversation with my 5 year old...

2009-11-02T20:15:00.001-05:00

John: "Mom, none of the other kids in my class know a song I love." Me: "What song John?" John: "Aruba, Jamaica, Oooh I want to take you" - So, my 5 year old loves Kokomo by the Beach Boys and my diverse Ipod is to blame. LMBO! My response, "John, tell the kids in your class that you are a cultured and tropical young man who is expanding his musical decades a lot deeper than they will ever go." John: "Ok, Mami. I will tell them tomorrow that I am way cooler than they are." I was LMAO!!!

Juggling Life

2009-10-27T18:30:00.002-04:00

How do we do it?

I mean, I know how we do it. But, I wonder how this became the norm. I have not rested since I woke up at 5am this morning.

It's always something!

The icing on the cake part of my day was my son's incredible plays at baseball today. WOW!! Is that what it is? Our kids' accomplishments bring us so much joy that we look past the madness everything else brings? I think so...

Tell me how you do it?

Humbling experience..

2009-10-25T15:55:00.003-04:00

Ever had an experience that has humbled you?

Well, dictionary.com defines it like this: to make meek: to humble one's heart. My heart has been very humbled.

Why? You may ask...

Well, my husband wasn't working for the last two months. Some specifics about his job that I would rather not discuss. Sometimes I feel like he works for the FBI. He doesn't, but all the restrictions on what can and can't be said make it feel that way.

So, how have I been humbled?

It seems I am always frowning upon his constant traveling and hardly ever getting to be around. Well, that constant traveling is what puts our kids through private school, puts food on our table, clothes on our backs and provides us with wonderful summer vacations without restrictions. So, this season, instead of moping around because I am working and raising two kids alone, I will hold my head up high and thank the good Lord that my family has a job that provides so much for us. I will stop looking at the glass half empty and more as half full.

We will miss you honey, but we know you are doing what is right for our family.

Pictures from Florangel: Pumpkin Patch 2009

2009-10-11T21:31:00.001-04:00

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Bimini Pics

2009-08-10T09:25:00.001-04:00

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Motivation...

2009-08-05T16:26:00.002-04:00

Ever find it hard to get motivated?

I am finding it hard these days. My personal life is perfect, but my professional life is in shambles. Yes, shambles! I am one of those moms that enjoys working. Sure I've considered becoming a Stay at home mom on occassion. It may be fun at first, but I would feel extremely awkward after a while. A happy medium to my hectic life would probably be a part-time job. Has anyone ever heard of a part-time teacher? Of course not, right?

Here's the scoop. My husband travels tons for work. 6 months of heavy-duty travel in the middle of my 9 month school schedule is hard on all of us. My 5 year old, my 2 year old, my husband and sometimes I feel like mostly ME! At my school they have arrangements to help me manage it all. (i.e. first period off so that I can drop off the kids and still get to school on time for my next class and the last period off every other day to help me with getting my "school work" done.) Well, last year's budget cuts took away that last period. It happened mid-year and it was rough, but I managed. John only had 2 months left of traveling and I made it through. I've always taught 8th grade and one of my personal goals has been to come closer to home. Right now, I work a 35 mile round trip to and from work. I went to my principal at the end of the school year and informed her, as an employee should, that I would be exploring opportunities closer to home and my kids during the day. She was so inappropriate about the whole thing. In a nutshell, she told me she didn't care if I came or went. That I am filled with scheduling drama anyway and that she does not feel like dealing with it anymore. Yes, she is a female and she did have children eons ago. I told her I would let her know in early July if I found something and that otherwise, I would be back.

I've gotten various phonecalls this summer from my dept. head. Basically, because of my honesty, I have been given more duties than I had before and she refuses to make any changes knowing my situation here at home. I will now teach two different grades, God knows how many levels and 6 periods of the day. The only thing that she did let me keep was 1st period off to drop off the kids.

So, not only won't I have the time to do my work at school, they are adding extra work for me to do. I don't get it. I wasn't threatening to leave. I was trying to be closer to my kids and home.

Usually, around this time, I go out and buy myself some inspiring new clothes, shoes and school supplies. I have absolutely not motivation to do any of it. I am upset, hurt and feel extremely betrayed. I am one those few employees that follows every rule and for some reason I can't do something, I come clean right away. I've been at my school 5 years now. My first class group is going into 11th grade. Is this all fair?

I guess I shouldn't wonder where my motivation has gone...I've basically just expressed and realized where it went. Down the tubes of dissatisfaction!

Pictures from Florangel: Aruba 2009

2009-08-04T08:14:00.001-04:00

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Threes of ME

2009-07-25T09:48:00.003-04:00

We are using honesty policy. So, if you are reading this you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the 3's of YOU.

Three names I go by:
1. Flower
2. Flor
3. Le Fleur

Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Administrative Asst.
2. Public Relations Rep.
3. Teacher

Three Places I have lived (all in Miami. FL):
1. Kendall
2. Kendall
3. Kendall (LOL)

Three Favorite drinks:
1. Water
2. Iced-Tea
3. Wine

Three TV Shows that I watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Entourage
3. True Blood

Three places I have been:
1. Tahiti
2. NYC
3. Bahamas

People that text me regularly:

1. John
2. Dorothy
3. Larissa/Kismet (tied for 3rd)

Three of my favorite foods:

1. My mom's or grandma's cooking
2. Italian
3. Sushi

Three friends I think will respond
1. Dorothy
2. Kismet
3. ???

Three Things I am looking forward to
1. My trip to Aruba in 3 days
2. My trip to bimini when I get back from Aruba
3. Being entirely debt-free!

On my mind...

2009-07-24T22:16:00.002-04:00

Lots of the things are on my mind lately. So much that the stress is killing my shoulders and neck.

So many thing are falling into place for us right now and so many things still seem so far away.

I haven't posted in so long. I've tried to update with pictures, but I know it's not the same.

I guess I get to such a low point sometimes that I just stop whining. LOL.

What is there to whine about, right? I mean, we are all healthy, bills are paid and I am almost debt-free. Like I mentioned, so many things falling to place.

I am unhappy about work and I don't know what to do about it. For one, right now is not the time to quit, but when it is, will I be ready? Is it selfish of me to still want to have something for me? That I want to feel like a contributor financially? I know that SAHM (stay at home moms) do contribute to the house, don't get me wrong, but I like that I can escape even though I don't LOVE some aspects of my job. I love the teaching aspect. I love the kids. God, they drive me nuts, but I do love them. I feel that we learn so much from eachother. What I do hate is the administrative end of it all. I hate that because I put my family first, I am penalized/punished. I hate that because I am upfront and honest, I am penalized/punished.

I am also lonely. I miss my husband. I hate that he travels so much. Yes, I knew it was going to be like this when I signed on the dotted line. I am happy he is living out his dream career, but what about me? I am here. Managing a highly demanding full time job and two kids. Everything, at least I feel, falls on me.

Just a heads up on the perculating thoughts in my head!

I've Realized...

2009-07-23T10:01:00.001-04:00

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I’ve come to realize." At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!!

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size..
will not change unless I pay to have it changed!

2. I've come to realize that my job...
has its pros and its cons.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I get my best ideas.

4. I've come to realize that I need....
nothing really other than my family to survive.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
lots of things, but nothing that truly matters.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
people chat on cell phones while driving.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
I have a blast when in the right company! ;)

8. I've come to realize that money...
ISN'T EVERYTHING!

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
are just not good. That my idea of everyone being "good" is very naive.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ..
love my family.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
aren't lovey, dovey, "be-there-for-you"individuals.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
is a strong and amazing woman when all is said and done.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
has become a need to have more than a want to have.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning..
my husband was not in the bed. I miss him!

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
I checked on the kids, kissed them, tucked them, and set the alarm. I also grabbed my "power bat"! :0

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
about what the kids and I will do today.

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
is a very easy-going, big-hearted man. - this is about the dad that raised me, not the one that made me.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
I look forward to connecting with friends without having to interrupt my family life.

19. I've come to realize that today...
is a new day and could be the day.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I may start a scrapbook for my nephew.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
I am hanging with my girls and their kids and that I am one day closer to my husband and Aruba!

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
just be HAPPY!

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is..
I have no idea..

24. I've come to realize that life...
has ups and downs and that you need to learn from the downs to enjoy the ups.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
my hubby will be home!

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
angry girl music...gotta love me some Britney and Avril Lavigne

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are few, but PERFECT! (there are chosen few, you know who you ARE)

28. I've come to realize that this year...
is just beginning (unfortunately I look at years in terms of school years and not months LOL)

29. I've come to realize that my exes...
were life lessons for me

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
not go shopping today for those bags that I want but don't need. (those that know my husband will understand this)

31. I've come to realize that I love...
John, John Jr., Gianna, and Broadway more than words can express. Yes, my dog is included. Not to mention my parents and in-laws.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
how so many people out there really could care less about their own children.

33. I've come to realize my past...
has made me who I am today. I've learned and moved on.

34. I've come to realize that parties...
are a lot of work to throw, and lots of fun to attend!

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
of dying and not seeing my kids' biggest milestones!

36. I've come to realize that my life...
is complete. I have everything a woman could ask for and then some. I hate myself for complaining sometimes. It isn't the easiest life, but it's mine. My kids and family are healthy. I LOVE and am LOVED! Like I wrote...COMPLETE!

Pictures from Florangel

2009-06-09T16:08:00.001-04:00

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Pictures from Florangel: Memorial Weekend

2009-05-25T21:05:00.001-04:00

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Pictures from Florangel: Gianna gets a new do!

2009-04-22T12:03:00.001-04:00

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Pictures from Florangel: Easter 2009

2009-04-12T19:16:00.001-04:00

58 pictures
View Album at Shutterfly

Every Woman's Dream...

2009-04-10T15:29:00.003-04:00

Have you ever thought about your dreams as a young girl?

Doesn't every girl just absolutely dream of living a "Cinderella-type Fairy Tale"? I mean for as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted was to be a princess. I wanted a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and take me away from anything bad that I had ever faced.

What happened to that? Life as we know it. We become so jaded as we get older. We don't realize that there really isn't a "Happily Ever After", but more of an "Almost Happily Ever After." Somehow, we are constantly searching for that Happiness that we don't even know what it really consists of. Have you ever sat and said, I am entirely happy with every aspect of my life right now? Probably not. There is always something we want to perfect or get better. I think we are so busy focusing on that we forget all the things we do have take us to the "almost" level.

I won't lie. I am a mere 33 years old. I've hardly lived enough to have been through horrible things. I didn't endure slavery, segregation, or the holocaust. I am glad I didn't. I am way to kindhearted to watch others be hurt for no reason other than the color of their skin or religious choice. I haven't witnessed a war firsthand. Sure, our country is at war and has been at war, but I have not been there to see what it really consists of. My best knowledge of war is through movies like "The Patriot" or "Saving Private Ryan." Both extremely gruesome, tear jerkers for me.

Why am I writing this? Because I am happy. I've had my share of heartache. Some of which I don't wish to publicize, some of which, if you know me personally,you know have been painful.

I have a home. It doesn't have a picket fence and a garden, but it's a home, not just a house. I have healthy kids. They are not perfect and there are days that I wonder where they came from, but they are mine and I love every inch of their abstract personalities. I have my Prince Charming. He doesn't take away the bad, but we face it together, hand in hand and roll with the punches.

What more can a girl ask for?

Maybe I get all this because I know what it's like to be alone, to lose someone you love, to be with someone that doesn't stand by your side or even worse to be knocked off of your dream horse when you think you are capable to taking anything on.

Spring Break 2009

2009-04-09T14:22:00.003-04:00

Here are some of our Spring Break pictures. We did what is a called a "Stay-Cation." We rented on Miami Beach for 4 days and it was GREAT to be together and enjoy some time away from the everyday grind. Our staycation was cut in half because of cold-front. Who the heck would've thought there would be a cold front in the middle of April here??

Random Thinking...

2009-04-09T14:16:00.002-04:00

I was just on facebook and I really enjoy just checking out everyone's photos. It's so nice to keep in touch with people through their pictures even though you really can't sit, chat or hang out all the time. It's also my "adult interaction" with John away so much.

The point is that I am always complaining about being "alone" and reality is that I am not alone. I have a family. I have my parents alive and well, my in-laws are incredible people, my kids (aka Joeys), and my wonderful husband. Sure, John travels a lot for work and a lot of times I am managing a lot more than I can handle, but I always have someone to call. Well, today I was perusing someone's pictures and realized how lonely this one friend must be. She's on vacation ALONE! Her family is half way across the world and I've never heard her complain.

Why do things like these happen to good people? She seems happy alone, but I am sure she wouldn't mind someone to be with.

I guess I am just really grateful for everything I have. John is right. I am so spoiled and sheltered sometimes I don't realize how superficial I sound. I'm not really superficial, but I can see why someone would think that.

My latest stuff

2009-03-28T14:22:00.001-04:00

Random Questions

2009-03-26T16:53:00.002-04:00

I've been asking myself lately:

How can a parent be so uninformed?

Why does everyone seem to have it so together and I feel like I am busting at the seams?

What happened to respect and manners?

Why does every work place or school have to have cliques?

Why is there always the popular people and the unpopular people?

Why do children have to get picked on?

Why are kids these days so not motivated?

What happened to "outdoor" summers?

Why are parents so caught up in keeping their kids happy if we still don't even know what happiness really is?

Isn't it all relative?

Why does my mom get so consumed by my sister that she forgets that the rest of us need her too?

Why do I always question my instincts?

Why is my brother on my mind so much lately?

Why can't I just let certain things go?

Why can't I rest on the one day that I am kid-free if rest is all I've wanted for the last 6 months?

Am I making the right decisions when it comes to parenting?

Is setting high standards for your children a bad thing?

Is having a reaction/consequence, whether it be good or bad, wrong for every reaction?

Why does everyone offer empty threats?

So, I've been slacking...

2009-03-16T17:44:00.004-04:00

On my posts that is. Everything else in my life is non-stop constantly.

I really just get on here when I need a moment to vent or let go.

John's season is almost done. Thank God! I thought this was supposed to get easier?? I feel it is just as hectic every year.

I will update with some pics first.

Last time I posted it was New Years. That leaves me with 3 months of catching up.

Let me try to do chose a pic for each month.

Happy New Year

2009-01-05T08:26:00.001-05:00

I've been so caught up in other things, that I never posted our New Year's Pictures. We started it off with family. My brother and sister and law had a party at their house. It was GREAT! It was the first time ever the kids were up so late. They were happy to comply and had no problems staying up. They did crash in the car on the way home.

Hormonal

2008-12-28T15:48:00.002-05:00

I find that these last few days I've put myself on an emotional roller coaster. No one has insulted or hurt me other than my vivid imagination. I've also found out that my monthly friend is playing a big role in this emotional roller coaster of mine. Why? Why are women subjected to this one time a month (once in a blue moon for me thanks to Mirena)? I swear I appear to be this unstable, crazy lady that can't handle some quiet time. I've made a mountain out of a mole-hill and then some.

Does anyone ever reach that point where you can't stand yourself? Don't misunderstand me. I am generally a good person. Sometimes too good. I am constantly putting myself last and others needs first. I am guessing that so much of that takes it's toll when I am hormonal.

Today, I can sit and find at least 10 things about myself that I am not happy with. At least a New Year is a few days away and I can resolve to change those things, right? I mean, I can lose weight, eliminate debt, save money, and some how fix my sagging body and crows feet. LOL! I am guessing now you are understanding why I this blog is titled "Diary of a Drama Queen...".

I do see the good in my life. I've written about that before. So, don't automatically assume that I am self-absorbed, selfish individual filled with shallow thoughts. I am not at all like that.

Maybe now that I've released this, I will feel better. I am not even an emotional eater. I haven't really pigged out in days. I have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Hey, at least that will help with the weight loss resolution.

Christmas Morning at our house!

2008-12-27T08:30:00.001-05:00

Stolen Quiz - 1 WORD

2008-12-26T22:36:00.002-05:00

Where is your cell phone? Diaper Bag
Your hair? up
Your mother? home
Your father? birthday
Your favorite thing? life
Your dream last night? none
Your dream/goal? happiness
The room you're in? living
Your fear? lizards
Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive
Where were you last night? here
What you're not? stupid
Muffins? ok
One of your wish list items? superficial
Where you grew up? Miami
The last thing you did? laundry
What are you wearing? pajamas
Your TV? off
Your pet? yorkie
Your computer? dell
Your life? hectic
Your mood? blah
Missing someone? yes!
Your car? outside
Something you're not wearing? bra
Your summer? Incredible
Love someone? yes
Your favorite color? Blue
When is the last time you laughed? today
Last time you cried? today