Ever find it hard to get motivated?
I am finding it hard these days. My personal life is perfect, but my professional life is in shambles. Yes, shambles! I am one of those moms that enjoys working. Sure I've considered becoming a Stay at home mom on occassion. It may be fun at first, but I would feel extremely awkward after a while. A happy medium to my hectic life would probably be a part-time job. Has anyone ever heard of a part-time teacher? Of course not, right?
Here's the scoop. My husband travels tons for work. 6 months of heavy-duty travel in the middle of my 9 month school schedule is hard on all of us. My 5 year old, my 2 year old, my husband and sometimes I feel like mostly ME! At my school they have arrangements to help me manage it all. (i.e. first period off so that I can drop off the kids and still get to school on time for my next class and the last period off every other day to help me with getting my "school work" done.) Well, last year's budget cuts took away that last period. It happened mid-year and it was rough, but I managed. John only had 2 months left of traveling and I made it through. I've always taught 8th grade and one of my personal goals has been to come closer to home. Right now, I work a 35 mile round trip to and from work. I went to my principal at the end of the school year and informed her, as an employee should, that I would be exploring opportunities closer to home and my kids during the day. She was so inappropriate about the whole thing. In a nutshell, she told me she didn't care if I came or went. That I am filled with scheduling drama anyway and that she does not feel like dealing with it anymore. Yes, she is a female and she did have children eons ago. I told her I would let her know in early July if I found something and that otherwise, I would be back.
I've gotten various phonecalls this summer from my dept. head. Basically, because of my honesty, I have been given more duties than I had before and she refuses to make any changes knowing my situation here at home. I will now teach two different grades, God knows how many levels and 6 periods of the day. The only thing that she did let me keep was 1st period off to drop off the kids.
So, not only won't I have the time to do my work at school, they are adding extra work for me to do. I don't get it. I wasn't threatening to leave. I was trying to be closer to my kids and home.
Usually, around this time, I go out and buy myself some inspiring new clothes, shoes and school supplies. I have absolutely not motivation to do any of it. I am upset, hurt and feel extremely betrayed. I am one those few employees that follows every rule and for some reason I can't do something, I come clean right away. I've been at my school 5 years now. My first class group is going into 11th grade. Is this all fair?
I guess I shouldn't wonder where my motivation has gone...I've basically just expressed and realized where it went. Down the tubes of dissatisfaction!
